Thursday, April 19, 2018

You can't handle the truth

There has not been enough Stupid at Riddled lately, so Another Kiwi and I took ourselves down to the Army-Navy Surplus store to check their shelves for any surplus Milspec Stupid. And behold, they were offering a Three-for-One deal! Part One of the package was "Swissindo", which did not come in khaki nor in the alpine camouflage pattern that I prefer as flattering to my complexion, but I think you will like it anyway.

But first I must apprise you of the news that Jeremy Ayres and Clive de Carle have teamed up to fight crime cure disease, combat the scourge of Wallet Inflation Synrome, and operate the 'NaturallyBetter' broadcasting service (which is to say, a collection of videos on the YouTuba). You should probably have been informed earlier, for they are both old friends of Riddled. Anyway, they comprise Part Two of this parade of poppycock. But we cannot linger on them yet, for there is still the third installment to introduce... though it is hard to sum up neatly, and it deserves a post of its own.

In fact it has attracted an entire website, for I write of the Hoaxtead phenomenon -- a kind of flashmob of New-Age conspiracist-ideation Truthers.

Hoaxtead is a social pearl... accreted in layers around its irritant core, a squalid little episode when some lady co-authored an accusation against her erstwhile partner, that he was a Satanic Ritual Abuser, in order to write him out of their children's lives. The allegation went quickly tits-up and ended with the key fabulists departing swiftly to be garbage people somewhere else. Yet it also lingers on, with anonymous denunciations, and restraining orders, and loitering near schools to Protect the Children. For just as carrion flies are drawn to the delightful bouquet of cadaverine and putrescine, arriving at the carcass in distinct waves or cohorts [as any fule kno, who has watched CSI TV, or attended "Forensic Entomology Quiz Night" at the Old Entomologist], so sundry hoaxers, griefers, stalkers and scammers converged on Hampstead or emerged from their basements, drawn by the prospect of Drama, and the chance to project their own obsessions onto a situation that was unencumbered with tiresome facts.*

This has all been watched and documented by the Loonspotters at Hoaxtead Research. You should browse the site: it captures the entire Truther Alt-Reality ecosystem, in microcosm. There are some familiar names to encounter (as is inevitable in the subculture no matter which rabbit-hole you start down, on account of "grifter gravitation"). But here we are only concerned with one relatively-central protagonist, Neelu Berry of the clan of Chaudhari.

For Neelu does not believe in the UK financial system, nor in repaying loans, nor in the legitimacy of courts (although they continue to believe in her), because the Swissindo scam is her armour and her sword.

Artist's impression of M-1's coronation
This Swissindo trichobezoar is equally hard to unravel. It is an outgrowth of the old Nigerian Prince scam, hybridised with the "Philippine Gold" Macguffin from Cryptonomicon, (and a few worship words from The Matrix). but vastly upscaled so that the concealed fortune dates back to the God-Kings of the Indonesian Empire of yore, and is large enough to pay the debts of every one of us [11 million tonnes of gold & platinum], transforming us into fully-enfranchised Freeman Sovereign Citizens. Ushering in a radiant future of universal prosperity and freedom where governments and banks fall away like theatrical backdrops and all 128 royal families of the world kneel before M-1, King of Kings, true heir of Soekarno. I am not making this up. The "Swiss" part of the name is not entirely clear. I imagine it was chosen to evoke connotations of some kind... perhaps the Helvetian reputation for rectitude, or the Swiss-banker reputation for secrecy and principled disinterest in the sources of deposits, or just something about fondue.
Truthers are such easy prey
Until that happy day arrives (in August 2015), you can buy certificates of financial enfranchisement that will confound the bailiffs and bill collectors and drive them weeping from your door. This has Whatted all my Fucks and possibly vice versa, but it goes down like a cup of Free Energy Technology with the New-Age-Libertarian create-yer-own-reality crowd. With the exception of rival burn-it-all-down Chiliasts who have their own New Economic Order systems and are swift to denounce Swissindo as a distracting mercenary scam.

Remember Simon / Sacha Stone, of the New Earth Nation and Humanitad and Bio-arc Housing and the QT-π Free Energy generator? -- his business activities include pimping a new immortality drug from Marco Ruggiero, which is why Dora brought him to Riddled attention.

Sacha is sympathetic to the Swissindo farrago, and willing to learn from it, and he claims to be working with its creator.
I watched a video on the CCN network, a platform created by Mel Ve and her husband Rich, who were delegates of SwissIndo, it was a discussion between Heather and Sacha Stone. In the interview Sacha revealed that Sino had contacted him and asked for him to draft up a ‘law’ system..
This does not auger well (as the Bride of Pinocchio complained to Geppetto after the honeymoon, in the lesser-known sequel), for these End-of-Days movements always end badly. When the Millennium fails to arrive it must have been sabotaged by counter-revolutionaries and rootless cosmopolitans, and the people at the top of the Ponzi Pyramid are ordering successive waves of executions before you can say "Eliminationist".
With the backstories in place and all the ledes exhumed, it makes sense to return at last to the Naturally Better media giant / webshop... its principals have tethered themselves to Swissindo, like a Ship of Fools with a Dinghy of Dipsticks in tow.
Click to embiggen

India Irie Sanatana Dharma appears to be the chief exponent of Swissindo at NBtv. She is also cinematographer of Youtubers, and Co-Founder, Network Manager, Human Resources/Public Relations for the broadcasting colossus. She has renounced her original slave-name of India Merkerson, using it only when contributing to the Swissindo website [coincidentally, the old name features on police blotters for fraudulence and felonies... mainly in Florida, because alliteration].

In the context of a webshop catering to Gullible-Americans, the Swissindo belief system has the useful sub-text of reminding customers not to fash themselves about taking on more debt, because all will be repaid come the Jubilee. You may enjoy this PUBLIC NOTICE, larded with Worship Words and reverse etymology [dis-ease, toc-sick] and written in ALL-CAPS to signal the Sovereign-Citizenship-friendliness of the shop, the typographical equivalent of a rainbow.

Of the other NBtv principals, Jeremy Ayres and Clive de Carle were once low-level dealers in the distribution chain for GcMAF and Bravo Magic Yoghurt and Rerum (each one more panaceal than the one before), which is how they came previously to our attention at Riddled Research Laboratory. However, the now-deprecated GcMAF no longer features in their joint artistic practice. In its place, please admire "Rebounders" -- lymph-flow-unblocking weight-loss appliances, easily confused with a trampoline. Nor should we forget the Pocket Orgonite for turning electrosmog EMF into Orgone Energy. Orgonites are like Crystals, but are even more natural, consisting of random sparkly crap set in resin.

When last encountered, Ayres was boasting of a bait-shop beach-house luxurious clinic in Barbados, while fostering the impression that he was a partner in the Noakes / Ruggiero cash-extraction facility in Switzerland. He affected the title of "Doctor", having acquired a qualification in a discipline of his own invention -- "Neuropractics", a bricolage of fragments from osteopathy, naturopathy, chiroquacktice and bong hits. In contrast, de Carle prefers the title "Health Guru", so put 'Hg' in front of his name when addressing him formally. He traded mainly as The Secret Health Club, where as well as GcMAF he offered Bio Resonance remote-healing-atta-distance through proprietary Scalar Technology, £49 per yearly subscription. He also sold many products through his "Ancient Purity" wigwam webstore (styled in the Tribal Wisdom theme) a.k.a. TheHealthRevolution, including artisanal ashes and dirt, and you could probably acquire a Virtual Spirit Animal there, but I will not swear to that. Then there was RareandBrave [curing autism]. The range of domain names he had registered at the same time speaks of a versatile, ecumenical openness to any arena of potential consumer spending.

"But what", you ask, "of the clinic / healing centre / teaching Multiversity that Ayres offered on the Yucatan, on donated Mayan land, close to sustainable permaculture sources of organic foodstuffs?" All described as actuality but worded as aspirational:
"The students will be trained in the philosophies, sciences, arts and practices of Classical Osteopathy, Chiropractics and Naturopathy as well as an ever-evolving course based on the conference input." "The restaurant facilities will offer a premium dining experience, in line with the Naturally Better Healthy Lifestyle™, by creating delicious, nutritionally complete, highly alkaline based, healing food menus, using local and seasonal, local organic ingredients (where possible), for the clients, staff and conference guests."
Alas, the website soliciting funds for its construction has folded and vanished in the manner of Bedouin tents, leaving open the question of the final disposal of donations. A page at the current webstore continues to invite moneys, but for full details of the grandiose plan -- born from the unnatural union of one of Bruno Taut's crystal alpine fantasies, and a buzzsaw -- one must turn to the Wayback machine. Rather than stealing a sketch from the Interweave, Ayres should have consulted Sacha Stone's Bio-Arc visionary-architecture sideline.

Returning to Hg de Carle... according to one exercise in rectal sourcing, he
trained in natural healing in his twenties and worked in ophthalmic optics for fifteen years and then for ten years and ran an organic farm
No doubt for reasons of space, those decades are omitted from the biographical details of his career he retconned to mark the promotion to NaturallyBetter... or rather his careers, for he has triumphed and accrued fortunes across the full span of human accomplishment. See below for the full autohagiography, which is too good to be left as just a link.¹ Until he met and conquered the final challenge -- himself -- and taught himself the secrets of spiritual wellness, in a biography reminiscent of Harrison Wintergreen. One can only wonder why, now de Carle has mastered his own body, why he chooses to look like Creepy Uncle Ernie who is no longer in charge of a scout troop.

For a while "The Health Revolution" was a series of YouTubers as well as a webshop; all these Alt-Reality gobshites think of themselves as broadcasters and never tire of the journalist cosplay. This "programme" was a collaboration with Brian Gerrish, a.k.a. "UK Column", a Gollum look-alike Truther whose sincerity and honesty have sometimes been called into question. And to tie it all nicely together, UK Column is up to its thighs in the Hoaxtead farrago. Huzzah!

Originally Ayres and de Carle both hailed from the UK, though they have travelled extensively, citizens of the world, learning modalities of wisdom from every ancient tradition, never staying in one jurisdiction for long.

A physical location for this particular media giant is hard to specify. A disclaimer at the webshop refers us for authentication to a Canadian company, Naturally Better (Canada) Ltd, although that entity was evidently dissolved last year "for non-compliance". Company records offer a Barbados address for Jeremy Ayres. Natalie Kong (the other director, also Mrs Ayres) gave a Canadian address, but if her Faceborg page is to be believed, she resides in Mexico and sells Pocket Orgonites by harnessing the power of Lorem Ipsum.

* The latest wave of parasites to set up a sideshow on the fringes of the Hoaxtead Circus is the International Court of Natural Justice -- another of the sovereign-citizen activities comprising Sacha Stone's portfolio of pelf. It seems that one can set out to explore the New-Age / Truther network through any portal and soon be sure of encountering familiar faces. I do not advise anything like "connect the dots, sheeple!", for if you try that with these people's tangled associations then you will wind up with something like the Parisian Metro map, or like that time the cat shat out a whole gutfull of threadworms at once. It will suffice to admire the dots themselves, such as Chief Justice Sir John Walsh of Brannagh. Or John B. Gilmore, Chairman of the Global Monetary Authority. There is a kind of Platonic perfection to their glorious fabulatory self-regard.

Anyway, your donations to the ITNJ will help them Help the Children and secure Justice, and hold hearings on child sexual trafficking. With a “Judicial Commission of Inquiry into Human Trafficking and Child Sex Abuse”, I am not making this up.

Whom am I fooling? They're there to hold talkings; hearing is not their area of expertise.

You may also recall HopeGirl, who travels the world bestowing the transformative technology of Self-Empowering Energy Generators on freedom aspirants everywhere. Sadly, the generators never seem to continue working once they are unplugged from the mains, despite hours of not-so-free tutorial advice in on-line HopeGirl consultations. Her contributions to Hoaxtead are late, and peripheral, but inevitable.
1. Clive de Carle, Founder of The Health Revolution
Clive de Carle is one of the world’s foremost experts in optimum health and mental performance. For over 20 years he has dedicated himself to the pursuit of mental and physical high performance optimisation, providing cutting edge dietary consultancy and enabling thousands of clients to reverse the signs of illness and regain optimum health.
Clive has travelled the world studying the diets and lifestyles of the world’s longest lived peoples and investigating the very best sources of nutrient rich foods and supplements. Through this Clive has developed a range of high-grade health products during his tenure as co-founder and member of Ancient Purity.
Throughout the 80s and 90s Clive proved himself as a successful business entrepreneur. In 1986 he established England’s largest and most successful manufacturer of contact lenses, which was sold in 1996 to Johnson & Johnson.
In 1991 he also moved into the high-performance car industry, becoming the first najor importer of cutting-edge Japanese technology to the UK motor industry to the UK, that were not normally available outside of Japan, unvailing a series of high performance cars at the Earl’s Court motor show in 1991 and featured on Top Gear revealing technological breakthroughs in the motor industry.
Clive then invested into a 40 acre, fully off grid organic farm in Spain, pioneering sustainable farming methods which enabled him to achieve double the profitability of the land using fully sustainable ancient and modern techniques and technologies while deepening his understanding of the relationship between food production, nutritional content and optimum health.
Following this, Clive discovered new revolutionary voice-activated mindmapping software and set up a buisiness providing cutting-edge lie detection services to the banking and insurance industries. His services were so successful in detecting fraud that he found himself heavily courted by the security services. of several countries.
However, Clive’s passion for achieving peak health through natural means was triggered initially by a major health crisis in 1986. A healthy man of 32,Clive was prescribed a couse of anti-biotics by his doctor for a skin condition, which left him hospitalised with Type 1 diabetes and advanced rhumatoid arthritis with no hope of a cure.
With the doctors unable to help, Clive to seek out the advice of nutritional health guru Patrick Holford, author of over 20 books on health and founder of The institute of optimal nutrition…. who explained to him that he was suffering from a nutritional deficiency, not a shortage of drugs and surgery as the doctors had suggested. By following Holford’s nutritional advice, within one year Clive found he had completely reversed the arthritis.
Clive took a second hit to his health in 2003 when a traumatic divorce left him at an all-time low, suffering from depression, mental exhaustion, emotional trauma, loosing focus, vision and drive. However, once again, Clive decided to take his health into his own hands and with the help of self-hypnosis and intelligent mind management he was able to reestablish his focus and his emotional health.
Since then, Clive decided to focus on health as he realised that without your health you have nothing. Through Clive’s work, thousands of people who conventional medicine were told were incurable have now recovered their health using natural means, including those suffering from advanced terminal diseases.
In Clive’s own words, ‘In essence, I study wellness while doctors study illness, drugs, radiation and surgery. Doctors do not study health and usually only spend half a day on the vital subject of nutrition. The benefits from vibrant good health are well-known to us all but few realize what the basic rules are and just how simple they are to follow’.

Monday, April 16, 2018

Bis Hip-hop in a Tutu

This year when we decorated the chocolate bunnies IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY we followed a Ballerina theme (because lazy & uninspired).

They are ready for a production of Swan Lagomorph.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

To leap and fall around
Soft and protected from this world of stone

When Max Ernst painted St. Cecilia (1923),* did he have Diderot's illustrations for "How to cast your own Equestrian Statue" (1771) in the back of his mind? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

I am further prepared to argue that the "Cast of A-Mount-illado" was also an influence on Doré's 1857 illustrations for the Divine Comedy.**

I can't believe that I forgot the Safeword

Assiduous readers will be familiar with the drill, and will have prepared themselves for another manifestation of the non-casual workings of the Morphogenic Field. Every invocation of an artistic trope or motif weakens a seam in the fabric of reality and makes it more likely that similar invocations will occur to future artists (much as every blog that talks about the Morphogenic Field sends out emanations and lowers the threshold for other bloggers to spontaneously mention the Morphogenic Field). When Man Ray came to portray Sade in 1936, due to financial exigencies he couldn't acquire great blocks of stone or plaster to use in the drawing, yet the morphogenic flux was so strong that the portrait of Sade turned into its own masonry.

* Not many people know that the Ernst painting has "Invisible Piano" as alternative title, pre-empting the "Invisible X" style of LOLcat by 80 years or so.

** 1857 was a good year for titanic chains, unyielding as anything from the anvil of Aforgomon. I cannot exclude the possibility that Victorian photographer Robert Howlett used the same prop links as Doré's etcher, or even shared a studio.
[H/t Rosewind]

Worst Ray Harryhausen stop-action movie EVAH

I would still pay many quatloos to watch it.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018


"How I Went Down to the End of the Town (and escaped from the suffocating clutch of my awful bourgeois family): A Memoir"

by James Morrison Weatherby George Dupree's Mother.

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Crank Magnetism

This post was earlier cross-posted at Leonid Schneider's site. The version there is improved by Leonid's frame-story.

Remember the time when sunspots and solar winds were coupled to Earth's rotation, and thereby triggered devastating earthquakes, leading in turn to variations in people's pulse rates? (not to forget the planetary alignments influencing solar activity in the first place). Disappointingly, this is not the causal chain that Alabdulgader et al. (2018) had in mind when they reported correlations between solar winds and the cardiac activity of 18 female staff-members of the Prince Sultan Cardiac Center (Hofuf, Saudi Arabia).

Evidently these correlations are proof of the interconnected harmony of macrocosm and microcosm, of the invisible threads linking the solar system with our supposedly-separate consciousnesses. Schumann Resonances come into the story. Despite sounding like the name of a 1980s art-school band (or of the next 'Laundry' novel from Charles Stross), the Schumann Resonance is a natural phenomenon of the ionosphere, but the term has become a worship-word across the Great-Weave-of-Life, Everything-is-Interconnected region of the Interweb. It makes total sense to Alt-Reality readers that the human brain (more specifically, the pineal gland) is perfectly proportioned to function as an antenna and be coupled with an ELF electromagnetic oscillation that has the Earth's circumference as its wavelength.

I had planned a joke here about the brain region serving this purpose being the Solar Pons, but was prevented by threats of legal repercussions from the estate of August Derleth.

One blogger has examined the paper and marvelled at the Heart-Math Institute and the Global Coherence Initiative, to which three of the authors are affiliated. The HMI exists primarily to market the EmWave "stress relief" device and software (which is to say Biofeedback from the 1970s, reinvented, with better computer graphics). Neuroskeptic paid more intention to the crap statistical analysis, which is all time-series correlations, and guaranteed to generate spurious significance results. No-one has yet inquired into the recruitment of the first author's employees as subjects (was it really so difficult to acquire genuine volunteers?)... but that is left as an exercise for the reader, for here I want to concentrate on the References section.
emWave widget and app: May contain CamelCase

This is compendious, and exhaustive. The Russian post-Chizhevskij tradition of 'heliobiology' is well-represented, as are biorhythms, the Schumann Resonance literature, and previous reports from the Global Coherence Initiative.
74. McCraty, R., Deyhle, A. & Childre, D. The global coherence initiative: creating a coherent planetary standing wave. Global advances in health and medicine: improving healthcare outcomes worldwide 1, 64–77, (2012).
87. McCraty, R. & Deyhle, A. In Bioelectromagnetic and Subtle Energy Medicine, Second Edition (ed. Paul, J. Rosch) 411–425 (CRC Press 2015).
Somehow the oeuvre of Lyall Watson is omitted and there are not enough dolphins. But the work of Michael Persinger is especially influential, with five citations. Which brings us at last to the actual topic of this post.

The post's purpose is to pay affectionate tribute to Professor Persinger (of Laurentian University), and to his contributions to the field of Partly-Baked Ideas (this also provides an excuse to link to a number of Riddled posts). His career, spanning four decades, has been untrammelled and indeed unfettered by conventional paradigms... the "marble index of a mind for ever Voyaging through strange seas of Thought, alone". To lead you on with a taste of what is to come, here are his refreshingly unconventional views on global climate change, as revealed through SCIRP (Chinese-based publisher-shaped scammers noted for the low-rent fees and negotiable standards peer-review they offer).

Apparently global warming is not driven by CO2 levels, but rather the other way around: as the geomagnetic field interacted with the solar wind (and with galactic conditions) evidently it weakened, pumping energy into the atmosphere, and ultimately causing CO2 levels to soar. Blaming fossil-fuel consumption for any of this would be counteractive. The key point here is that Alabdulgader et al. should probably modify their calculations to include this additional chain of macrocosm / microcosm connections, for the consequent climatic changes will provide another influence on people's pulse rates.

When Neuroskeptic reminded Persinger that he had miscalculated the energy transfer by a factor of 10¹², his response was to pay a second 'publication fee' and distribute a follow-up paper, supplementing the mechanism of atmospheric warming with "recondite mechanisms". SCIRP are onto a good thing here. Of course in the good old days there were no parasitical publishers to make everything easy for us, and Perceptual & Motor Skills was the only option when we needed to publish some pile of contentious results or tendentious theory without too many questions being asked.

Persinger has not yet received the honour of an Ignobel Prize (although historians of Improbable Research have documented some of his interests). He does appear in Mary Roach's book 'Spook', in Chapter 9, "Inside the Haunt Box". The context there is his theory that ghost sightings (and similar paranormality) are analogous to the numinosity and religious experiences of Temporal Lobe Epilepsy... but brought about by magnetic field fluctuations, perturbing the delicately-poised brain chemistry of sufficiently susceptible individuals. Which is not to say that such sightings are hallucinatory, for he leaves open the possibility that 'ghosts' are veridical experiences of normally-unobserved phenomena. could also be that people -- or at least some of them -- are suddenly, as a result of the field's effect on their brain, able to pick up, as Persinger puts it, "actual information that's in the environment." Persinger thinks the latter is likely. "Particularly," he says, "in places where people experience the same thing again and again."
In the early version of this theory, from the beginning of Persinger's career, the causative magnetic fluctuations are geological: the Tectonic Strain Theory (orogeny recapitulates ontology). They arise from tectonic stress along fault lines, as compressed rocks generate electricity (because of quartz crystals in granite). Thus explaining UFO sightings, alien abductions, Marian visitations and the like, when they cluster in times of earthquakes and along the seismic zones where tectonic plates abut.

So it was appropriate, and inevitable, that Persinger would gravitate to a university that shares its name with the main North American craton.

Later he came more aware of astronomical influences, from the ion wind from the sun sending Earth's magnetic field all a-wobble; for the strength of that wind also correlates with manifestations of paranormality (which brings us back to our starting-point, Alabdulgader et al.). Though human-generated magnetism also comes into the picture.

All this fed into Persinger's God Helmet [omnipotence not included], bedizened with electromagnets and solenoids to recreate those field fluctuations, designed to inspire those who wear it with feelings of Numinosity, and religiosity, and Presence. Or at least a lucky minority of wearers.

Now the Helmet collectively generates about 1 microTesla, which is nothing to write home about... the coils used to deliver brief pulses to the brain in Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation are more like 1 to 2 Tesla. Even with that intensity, even though it looks like whacking the recipient on the head with a giant clock-key, the subjective effects of TMS are subtle and easy to miss. This makes it tempting to conclude that any effects from the helmet are merely an elaborate placebo (with the clicking of the solenoids to alert the wearer of when to expect an encounter with the Angel of the West Window). However, this neglects the temporal patterning of the stimulation it delivers, which is structured and sequenced -- not just single pulses -- and laden with information.

Elsewhere, Persinger and his students have shown that properly-structured magnetic stimulation causes flatworms to fragment and dissolve [one can only speculate that the study was motivated by the hope of publication in the Worm-Runner's Digest]. It may also sterilise frogs at 200 yards. If the lethal effect applies to other platyhelminths, the corollary follows that out-of-date MRI equipment could be repurposed for veterinary purposes, and used to rid farm animals of parasitical flukes.

Nor should we forget a series of studies in which magnetic flux -- low-intensity, but "chosen to simulate the brain’s natural patterns" (the Thomas sequence) -- showed promise as a treatment for skin cancer. Specifically, it slowed the growth of melanoma cells in vitro and in vivo. Mind you, caution is required as the wrong sort of flux modulation can also kill the patient rats. Then an additional SCIRP paper was required to explain why the curative phenomenon had disappeared.

But crucially, the strongest effect on melanoma seems to occur when recorded EEGs are played back through the medium of magnetic modulation. Not just any EEGs, but recordings of Sean Harribance, a professional psychic with a long though largely-untested career of Jedi mind-tricks.* This provides a convenient segue to what may well be Peak Persinger: the Professor's experiments with formalin-fixed but self-aware slices of human cerebrum.

It emerges that despite the lack of functional synapses or ion channels, metabolites or even functional cell membranes after 20 years of pickling in formaldehyde, these slices can be still roused to a kind of passive residual consciousness, much as small sections of printed circuit diagrams still operate like the actual circuit when properly stimulated. The "proper stimulation" can here include immersion in a bath of neurotransmitters, which evokes γ- and θ-wave activity, in a hemisphere-specific response; as well as the emission of 'biophotons', which is a whole different rabbit-hole of weirdness; meanwhile the auditory cortex still discriminates frequencies. "The brains had been stored in secure areas and handled appropriately and respectfully." However, they should have been provided with sensory enrichment to stave off boredom.

Alternatively, once the slices have been wired for sound, one can stimulate them electrically. Right-hemisphere slices were more responsive (confounding my own expectations that consciousness would be lateralised along with language in the left hemisphere).** Life in the Persinger laboratory is never dull.

Crucially, though, the responses are enhanced -- especially in the γ- and θ-wave bands -- by using Harribance's psychic-EEG recordings for the signal. Because Quantum Entanglement. If nothing else, this phenomenon could serve as an objective test for psychic faculties.

All this makes it hard to accept that a thinly-veiled version of Persinger has not yet featured as a main character in a Canadian remake of "Fringe". Or in a Canadian novel in the "campus comedy" genre, set in a loosely-disguised version of Laurentian University. There is no end of material.

It seems hard to surpass the pickled-brain palaver. Prepare yourself, though, for what may be the Professor's greatest achievement, his simulation of "the neural correlates of consciousness", and replication of EEGs, in conductive Play-Do. Life in the Persinger laboratory is never dull.

The dough was layered around the exterior and interior of a (replica) skull, modelling the electrical properties of the human head, allowing it to resonate to the rhythms of the cosmos.
Effectively all of the major correlates of consciousness, including the 40 Hz and 8 Hz coupling between the cerebral cortices and hippocampal formation, can be accommodated by the properties of water within a specific-shaped volume exposed to a magnetic field.
Spectral analyses of electrical potentials generated over the regions equivalent to the left and right temporal lobes in humans exhibited patterns characteristic of Schumann Resonance.
Note that a less-structured configuration of dough sufficed to endow it with engrams, mimicking the process of classical conditioned reflexes. The maximum information density possible with this flour-based medium of data storage has not yet been reached.

It begins to seem that 'memory' is a ubiquitous property of existence, present in whatever materials and scale one examines, even in empty space, even in spring water. So it would be a mistake to focus too closely on human brains... whether preserved or still in a state of animation.

As the title suggests, the key to these studies is "interfacial water". This does not allude to excess moisture during a kiss, but rather to a highly-structured, entangled phase, quantum-coherent to an almost crystalline extent: postulated by the "Waterbender" school of aqueous scholars (Pollack, Del Guidice) to manifest when water molecules are placed in proximity to an interface or transition. It is what 1960s phenomenon "polywater" could have become, given less skepticism and more complaisant publishers. The main point of this conceptual playground is to rationalise the fraudulent claims of homeopaths, as "memory of water", but I digress. Persinger hints that Interfacial Water is the true substrate of sentience and conscious thought, with neurons merely providing cell membranes... the means by which Reality chose to keep water in this non-watery phase.
intrinsic features of proton densities within cerebral water may be a fundamental basis to consciousness that can be simulated experimentally.

From there it was a short step to a startling conclusion, which may well be Peak Persinger: his proposal that the magnetosphere is a repository for all human memories and experiences -- a kind of magnetic Akashic Archive, by way of Tesla Technology. No-one said that there can only be one peak.

Quite apart from the scope and grandeur of its concept, this paper is also noteworthy for its chequered publication history. It appeared as the inaugural contribution to a new journal from Libertas Academica. It was then unpublished, leaving a gap in the pagination (with the excuse from the publisher that he had not formally accepted it, and only formatted it and placed it on-line by error, and he had no avenue for a proper retraction). It was on- and off-line for a while, then the journal disappeared (taking with it the only other contribution), and finally the entire publisher crashed and burned, leaving only its Akashic Wayback records.

The concept is not quite so extreme when you remember (or the magnetosphere remembers) the parallels between the Earth's atmosphere and the activity of the brain (the "potentially congruent scale-invariant quantitative properties"), in which lightning strikes are the counterpart of neuronal spikes. No wonder, then, that the Schumann resonances -- which are powered by lightning -- interact so well with human physiology. The concept has been on Persinger's mind for a while, possibly placed there by the magnetosphere, and as far back as 1995 he wrote about "the possibility of directly accessing every human brain by electromagnetic induction of fundamental algorithms" [copy available here]. Don't tell the NSA.

Now fundamental physics place limits on the storage of information in the Noösphere; as lower standing-wave frequencies are occupied, higher- and higher-frequency bands are called into play, requiring higher and higher energies. I confess, it had not occurred to me to wonder whether there is also a limit to the number of conscious minds that can simultaneously share and upload their contents to the same geomagnetic field. Fortunately Persinger has considered the implications:
The transition from 6 to 8 billion brains would be associated with shared energies within individual cerebral space whose frequencies increase across the visible electromagnetic wavelength from infrared to ultraviolet. Magnetic diffusivity indicates all brains could be influenced within about 10 minutes. Implications for induced ubiquitous genetic changes, shared modifications in protein sequences associated with memory during dream sleep, and limitations upon the proliferation of the species are discussed.
When population reaches 8 billion, the energy bands will fill to a level where the quantum coupling becomes sufficiently energetic to affect nucleotide bonds, there will be a phase transition of sentience, and we'll begin to collectively edit our own DNA sequences to echo our collective dreams. Then it is all a Childhood's End scenario, which never ends well.

All this has merely scratched the surface of Persinger's corpus. It should be clear by now that he is an out-of-the-box thinker. Moreover, if you set out to put his thoughts back into the boxes they came from, several containers would be required. This is a good thing, to my mind; science relies on the freedom of scientists to entertain daringly novel ideas, and this post does not explore some of Persinger's less mainstream ideas simply to make jokes about them. The point is that they are, at present, speculations, and if any authors rely on them as settled fact (e.g. Alabdulgader et al.), that's where ridicule is deserved.

There is much to be gleaned from the annals of the journal NeuroQuantology... most of it involving the quantum-coherent nature of brains, that allows for their quantum-entanglement. The gleaning is left as an exercise for the reader. Again.

There is also the issue of bio-photons. These are said to emerge as a by-product of metabolism, at such vanishing infrequency as to require a sensitive photomultiplier to detect them, in conditions of 'hyper-darkness'. In a series of papers, Persinger has reported that our brains emit more of these when we think of white light while we sit in the pitch-black room; this emission being hemisphere-specific. In yet another study with the pickled brain slices, they were emitted without chemical or electrical stimulation to mimic metabolism and awaken the echoes of cognition; prior exposure to light was enough, like a glow-in-the-dark t-shirt. Perhaps 'necro-photons' would be a better term in this case. The spectral distribution of biophotons distinguishes cancers from normal tissue, because of course it does. Also, when combined with geomagnetism, they explain telekinesis:
…a shared source with the earth’s free background oscillations may be involved. Our results strongly indicate that photon-electron interactions between cerebral function and electronic devices that reflect “random” electron tunnelling may be more powerful than accommodated by classical physics and indicate the powerful role of a neuroquantological process.
The warming of the Earth's atmosphere over recent decades -- whether caused by anthropogenic CO2 releases, or by magnetic dipole weakening -- may or may not have entered that atmosphere's awareness. My own global-warming theory is that it results from the atmosphere's own consciousness, dwelling on thoughts of warmth, and thereby causing emission of biophotons in the infrared band. If so, then it can only be remedied by nudging planetary cognition in a more gelid direction. Perhaps by surrounding the planet by an orbiting network of giant speakers and blasting it with suitably chill-out music.

Anyway, Persinger may not receive the recognition he deserves in the wider culture, but his biophoton expertise is respected by his peers, who invited him to guest-edit a cross-species study in that area for the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science. See Leonid's tweet, or my own inevitable blogpost. Sadly, the authors of that paper did not speculate whether the necrophotons they counted were redshifted by rapid motion of the brain-tissue samples away from the observer, or by climbing out of an intellectual gravity well. Or by failure to calibrate the distance between diffraction grating and photon-detector.

* * * * * * *
* The Harribance Configuration would be another good name for a 1980s art-school band, or for a novel in the 'Laundry' series.
His primary financial income, which reflects the accuracy of his information, has been from his “readings” for a large population of repeat clients... It became evident that when his comments had been judged by others, Mr. Harribance's brain was generating a reliable and predictable pattern over the right temporofrontal region. It was so obvious and consistent to everyone, even by gross visual inspection, that we called it the Harribance configuration.
** This lingering life-after-death also manifests in preserved brains from Wistar rats, triggered by chemical changes in their formalin bath... hinting at a form of hemispheric dominance even in these otherwise non-verbal, non-chiral rodents.

An uninterrupted supply of rats is crucial for Professor Persinger's research program.